Tips for Creating the Perfect Online Dating Profile

Face it, as a human one of our basic impulses is to fall in love. But sometimes the question is, how can we do that? What if we do not know where or how to meet a significant other? Here is the answer in two words: online dating. Online dating is simply a method for meeting people and developing relationships. According to Joseph Walther (2011) and the Hyperpersonal Theory, relationships are able to advance faster online (460). Forty million Americans are using online dating services, and with this many people active in the online dating community, people need to be aware of a few good rules that should help them when accessing this service for the first time (Broussard).  Although it may seem weird to develop a relationship with someone you have never met or interacted with before face-to-face, the presence of the partner’s photos or pre-interaction biographies works equivalently well in instilling interpersonal expectations in an online setting (Walther, 2011). With this in mind, I am going to give individuals some advice on creating the perfect online dating profile.

       The first step is to remember that all online dating services are not going to have the same types of people using them. For instance, if you are hoping to develop a relationship with someone with similar interests and you are not religious, it is pretty obvious that you are not going to find your match on ChristianMingle.com. It is important to pick the proper site in order to increase your chances of developing a positive relationship as a result of your profile. You can compare it to going to the bar--different bars attract different types of people, and so do online dating sites. Before you create an account on an online dating site, read numerous profiles on the site, that way it will become more apparent what type of people the site attracts.

Step two is to make sure your profile serves you well. You want your profile to reflect your best self, so invest the time to make it well written and lively. What exactly does a profile do for an online relationship? Well, a profile is the unique, customizable area on an online dating site that contains biographical information about yourself, as well as photographs and details about what qualities and characteristics you are seeking in a potential mate (Shea, 2009). A survey was disseminated which asked, "When looking at someone's online profile, what makes you want to contact them?" The top three turn-ons for men were a great smile, a good sense of humor, and a good figure. For women the top two responses were having a good sense of humor and a similar taste in music, movies, books, etc. Third place was shared with women cherishing strong family values and a great smile (Brody, 2008). When your profile serves you well, people are going to want to initiate a relationship with you for who you truly are.

"A lot of people get really intimidated by the profile process, but when you think about it, when you go out, you get only one chance to make a great first impression. With a profile, you get as many as you want” (Shea, 2008, p.1). She then suggested that new users should break down their profile into four specific areas: the picture, the headline, the username, and the informational paragraph. Casey also suggests that friends should help you create your profile (Shea, 2008). Obviously, they are going to pick the best picture of you and be brutally honest with things that should be included in your introductory paragraph. Receiving input and insight from those that you have a solid relationship with can be very beneficial to creating a great profile.

When looking to start a relationship, most people are curious to know what the other person truly looks like. All pictures that are submitted online should be taken within the last six months, and feature a headshot, and preferably a full body shot. Individuals should avoid pictures with too many props or other people, so there are no distractions. In other words, stay recent and real so there are no unwanted surprises down the road. This may sound familiar after the big debut of the show Catfish on MTV this past winter, where there were many instances of people falling in love with fake online profiles.

The next area of focus is creating the username. Feel free to pick something on the creative side, but do not pick something that could be misinterpreted or could become a distraction. Keeping the username simple, but clever, will avoid giving people the wrong idea of your intentions and avoid any confusion. The username and headline or status line can complement one another. The headline is going to answer a basic question such as “What am I looking for?” The answer to this question should be uplifting, entice people to want to get to know you and create that relationship. Something that could make your profile stand out would be “This week I am looking for a great wine date near Hattiesburg.”

Lastly, we have the description in which you are going to want to create three separate paragraphs. The first paragraph is simply going to be about whom you are and what you like to do. The second paragraph should contain unique things about you, such as a pet peeve or something that will make you different from the next user’s profile. The third paragraph should be about the way you live your life. You can elaborate by explaining anything that you have recently done, or are going to do in the near future (Shea, 2008). The key to the description is being as unique as possible. In this section people are going to get to know the real you. This is your chance to stand out and make people want to take that first step and initiate a relationship with you. One thing to make sure to do in this section is use spell check!

Step three is a simple phrase that we all have been told before, and that is “get to the point.” The goal on an online dating site is that it should take two minutes or less to view photos and read the profile (Shea, 2008). It is important to be brief and be careful about sharing too much.  No one is on an online dating website to read a novel. Having a massive amount of information to sort through can be overwhelming and create a distraction to the reader (Carr, 2011).

Step four, is the last bit of advice I have for you today, and it may aid in writing your description. Somewhere in your profile, tell a personal story. Experts from all over have agreed that the best way to set your profile apart from the others is to tell a story (Broussard). When you are expressing your interests, maybe add why you like to do that activity or hobby. For example, if you enjoy being on the water, mention what brought about your love for the water, or what kind of boat you have and where you like to travel.

If you follow these simple steps, your online dating profile will be nothing short of perfect in no time. If you want a relationship to take off through an online dating website, these four steps are going to insure YOU are the one that is going to draw a viewer’s attention. 

Works Cited

Brody, S. (2008, July 11). Online Personals . In Third Age. Retrieved June 5, 2013, from http://www.thirdage.com/dating/online-personals

Broussard, M. (n.d.). Dating Statistics You Should Know. Retrieved June 5, 2013, from    http://www.match.com/magazine/article/4671/

Carr, N. (2011, June 6). What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains. The Shallows, 1-16.

Shea, E. J. (2009, September 28). Tips for Successful Online Dating . In Oprah. Retrieved June    5, 2013, from http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Tips-for-Successful-Online-Dating

Walther, J. B. (2011, August 26). Theories of Computer Mediated Communication and     Interpersonal Relations. Interpersonal Communication, 443-479.